the ring around my finger
every day i sit and stare at the ring around my finger. i try and put into words what it feels like- what belonging to someone feels like inside. some of my friends think that being collared is a really weird thing, and how could someone who survived sexual abuse want to allow someone else to have such control over their lives. others are more positive in what they think. and as i ponder all the things that people have said to me, i have come to the conclusion that although i love all my friends, their opinion of my lifestyle is not all that important to me. i cant live my life for pleasing everyone, in fact, the only person i can truly please is myself. within that, i strive to please G and in doing so, i please myself. for those of you in this subbie position, i'm sure what i'm saying makes sense. for those of you not, well, this is probably really strange. and please, i'm not trying to justify my life, only help others understand why this life is so right for me.
we all search for happiness, and hopefully we all find that. obviously there are times when we will be sad and have disappointments, and there will be most days where content is the best way to describe how we feel- but overall, we all long for happiness in our lives. belonging to somone makes me happy. being submissive to someone fills me up inside. i still have my own ideas and opinions, and the right to express them. i am not a slave- my feelings, and desires and thoughts matter. they count for something. i am hers and She is mine in a way that does not equal any other kind of relationship. She is a part of my life that no one else can be, as i am a part of Hers. That is not to say that we dont have other important parts, because we do- it's just to say that we have a special bond that will not break easily. there is a mutual interdependence that we both can rely upon.
so, back to the ring-gazing and just allowing myself to feel the ring around my finger.... i have been welcomed into Her life and Her family- not as a child or even a sister, but as a friend and a subbie. one can exist without the other, but i am so very thankful that they don't have to.
we all search for happiness, and hopefully we all find that. obviously there are times when we will be sad and have disappointments, and there will be most days where content is the best way to describe how we feel- but overall, we all long for happiness in our lives. belonging to somone makes me happy. being submissive to someone fills me up inside. i still have my own ideas and opinions, and the right to express them. i am not a slave- my feelings, and desires and thoughts matter. they count for something. i am hers and She is mine in a way that does not equal any other kind of relationship. She is a part of my life that no one else can be, as i am a part of Hers. That is not to say that we dont have other important parts, because we do- it's just to say that we have a special bond that will not break easily. there is a mutual interdependence that we both can rely upon.
so, back to the ring-gazing and just allowing myself to feel the ring around my finger.... i have been welcomed into Her life and Her family- not as a child or even a sister, but as a friend and a subbie. one can exist without the other, but i am so very thankful that they don't have to.
posted by oreo at
18:36
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home