seems that some of you are actually readin this....
so, i suppose i'll keep on posting.
updates and such:
grad school is horrible- i hate it- not the subject, not cause im not smart enough, just the school isnt right for me. Dropped out. Gonna be starting a business pretty soon, and once that business is running smoothly, i will go back.
Things with Craig (aka Papa, aka dickhead) are totally done, not that we didnt know that. But here's the kicker- i am totally ok. i spoke to him yesterday, and he sounds horribly depressed, which i sorta feel bad about, but not really. he is struggling financially, and i'm sure that is taking its toll on his relationship with cindy and kelly, if only because his depression sounds really bad...and when he gets depressed, he withdraws....
but me, im actually really doin ok. i mean, i still have moments now and then when i get sad, but overall, i feel like life is looking up. i feel like i am getting healthy- like i am becoming an adult. i am putting away the age-play garbage that has dominated my life the past several years, and i am becoming the woman that i have needed to be for quite some time.
hmmm, what else... my birthday is soon. supposedly im supposed to be 34- maybe this year my overall maturity will actually catch up with my age. Not all of it, but at least a good part- lol. i mean, i dont want anyone to panic thinkin that i have tossed allllll of my old self to the wind. only just the self-destructive parts that have been holding me back.
i went to Myrtle Beach, SC last weekend. Never been there before- it was awesome and i cant wait to go back. We stayed at G's dad's hotel and had a great room with this really cool pool. It had a lazy river in it, which is this funky shaped indoor "stream" that you float around in an innertube. i had lauren on my belly for quite a bit, and we stared up at the ceiling and tried to reach and touch the plants in the middle. We also sang a bunch of songs like the abc's and Jesus loves me, and twinkle twinkle, and pointed out all the different colors we were seeing. We also waved to the people sitting around the pool and they all smiled and waved back. i really want to spend more time at the Broadway shops- and i would love to go to the ripley's museum. G says that she promises we will go back, so we can do that next time.
i am selling the house in durham. it looks like i will be moving into the guest house at the farm as soon as it is done, and then mom will be making plans beyond that. there are tons of ideas being tossed around right now, so i dont know what the end result will be- but living on the farm is gonna be great. where we are, is like what i always dreamed of living in when i was in NYC- who knew that i would find this the way that i have. it's awesome.
i have decided to keep on workin to make positive changes for myself. G helps an awful lot, and she will keep on helping me. alot of times, that gives me the inner strength to keep on tryin. but the success is certainly worth the effort, so im gonna keep on makin the effort.
G says that she has a collar floating around the house for me, and she keeps tellin me that i am gonna get it soon....i hope it real real soon, cause i am not the most patient of people....but it is so cool to know that she has it, and that she has thought about the "how" of giving it to me. i keep prayin all the time that she isnt gonna change her mind- but honestly, i dont really think that she will. you know, if she told me to get a tattoo as a part of that collar, i prolly would. it would hurt alot, and i would cry, and she would have to hold my hands throughout it cause i cant stand needles (and after the allergist, i know what it would feel like). i have never ever in a million years dreamed that i would even consider getting one, but if she requested it of me, i would do it.
that's it for now- i hope some of you will respond to me....it's way better than thinking that no one out there is readin this. i've heard from a couple people over the phone that they do actually read it, so i'm counting on you to post....remember, you dont have to have a blog to post a response. you can do it as anonymous, just sign your name so i know who is commenting..
nite nite y'all
randi
updates and such:
grad school is horrible- i hate it- not the subject, not cause im not smart enough, just the school isnt right for me. Dropped out. Gonna be starting a business pretty soon, and once that business is running smoothly, i will go back.
Things with Craig (aka Papa, aka dickhead) are totally done, not that we didnt know that. But here's the kicker- i am totally ok. i spoke to him yesterday, and he sounds horribly depressed, which i sorta feel bad about, but not really. he is struggling financially, and i'm sure that is taking its toll on his relationship with cindy and kelly, if only because his depression sounds really bad...and when he gets depressed, he withdraws....
but me, im actually really doin ok. i mean, i still have moments now and then when i get sad, but overall, i feel like life is looking up. i feel like i am getting healthy- like i am becoming an adult. i am putting away the age-play garbage that has dominated my life the past several years, and i am becoming the woman that i have needed to be for quite some time.
hmmm, what else... my birthday is soon. supposedly im supposed to be 34- maybe this year my overall maturity will actually catch up with my age. Not all of it, but at least a good part- lol. i mean, i dont want anyone to panic thinkin that i have tossed allllll of my old self to the wind. only just the self-destructive parts that have been holding me back.
i went to Myrtle Beach, SC last weekend. Never been there before- it was awesome and i cant wait to go back. We stayed at G's dad's hotel and had a great room with this really cool pool. It had a lazy river in it, which is this funky shaped indoor "stream" that you float around in an innertube. i had lauren on my belly for quite a bit, and we stared up at the ceiling and tried to reach and touch the plants in the middle. We also sang a bunch of songs like the abc's and Jesus loves me, and twinkle twinkle, and pointed out all the different colors we were seeing. We also waved to the people sitting around the pool and they all smiled and waved back. i really want to spend more time at the Broadway shops- and i would love to go to the ripley's museum. G says that she promises we will go back, so we can do that next time.
i am selling the house in durham. it looks like i will be moving into the guest house at the farm as soon as it is done, and then mom will be making plans beyond that. there are tons of ideas being tossed around right now, so i dont know what the end result will be- but living on the farm is gonna be great. where we are, is like what i always dreamed of living in when i was in NYC- who knew that i would find this the way that i have. it's awesome.
i have decided to keep on workin to make positive changes for myself. G helps an awful lot, and she will keep on helping me. alot of times, that gives me the inner strength to keep on tryin. but the success is certainly worth the effort, so im gonna keep on makin the effort.
G says that she has a collar floating around the house for me, and she keeps tellin me that i am gonna get it soon....i hope it real real soon, cause i am not the most patient of people....but it is so cool to know that she has it, and that she has thought about the "how" of giving it to me. i keep prayin all the time that she isnt gonna change her mind- but honestly, i dont really think that she will. you know, if she told me to get a tattoo as a part of that collar, i prolly would. it would hurt alot, and i would cry, and she would have to hold my hands throughout it cause i cant stand needles (and after the allergist, i know what it would feel like). i have never ever in a million years dreamed that i would even consider getting one, but if she requested it of me, i would do it.
that's it for now- i hope some of you will respond to me....it's way better than thinking that no one out there is readin this. i've heard from a couple people over the phone that they do actually read it, so i'm counting on you to post....remember, you dont have to have a blog to post a response. you can do it as anonymous, just sign your name so i know who is commenting..
nite nite y'all
randi
posted by oreo at
20:29
5 Comments:
List of Blog Networks v3
My second effort back in June to put together a list of blogging networks got a strong response, but three months is a long time in the blogopshere so its time for a new list.
Hey
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By
Anonymous, at 8:58 PM
If I were you, I'd put the word scramble thingy in blogger on, to avoid irritating spam such as the other two idiotic comments before me. :(
On a brighter note, hi, I read your blog and I was happy to read taht things are going nicely for you. Sorry to hear that grad school plotzed out, but that you found out the school wasn't right. Yeah, environment really is everything. No sense in trying to work uphill -- grad school is hard enough! :)
I'd love a chance to talk to you about ageplay (mainly because I don't understand it, and the way I've seen it presented online is sadly lacking somehow, isn't it?
Glad you are still blogging and yep, I'm commenting. :)
Cheers,
poiesia :)
By
me, at 5:36 AM
Oops, I realized I forgot to close the parentheses....Oh, happy OCD me....
*winks*
poiesia
and here is the closed one: )
By
me, at 5:37 AM
poe- send me an email and we can talk about age play allllll your heart desires.
hugs
randi
By
oreo, at 9:16 AM
What a touching poem...
"And when you walk into her eyes you won't believe
*The way she's always paying
for debts she never owes*
And a silent wind still blows..."
It is endless, isn't it? I've been wondering about that part of us that does that -- inherent in a lot of submissive souls.
Disease to please? Too vague...
I'd send you email...lol...but I don't have yours, but love to hear from you at mine.
Cheers,
poiesia
By
me, at 8:07 AM
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