what is wrong with me?

Ya ever have one of those days where you just wanna give up trying to accomplish things? Well, today has been one of those days. And the worst part is that i dont even really know why. The best i can come up with is that not liking this school and the changes with Craig are taking their toll. i'll tell ya this much, if i had really known what all these changes would be like i would not have started school this semester. But then, am i just using this crap as an excuse to not bother? i mean, it sure wouldnt be the first time in my life i have done that.

And what about habits? Is it really important to break them? And if it is, then what do i need to do in order to stop giving up on trying just because i am having a bad day? Today was one of those... i have a few habits i am trying very hard to break and when i have an off day, the first thing i do is give up trying. And that really bothers me, cause it actually does mean alot to me to take control over these things in my life, and it seems like all i want to do is just give up on myself. For someone who doesnt like quitting, i sure have turned into quite a quitter. And the worst part- i had been doing really really well too- sux, huh??

i knew that there would be ups and downs with all this garbage that has been going on, i just never expected the low to do this. i really dont like this part of me, but i really dont know how to change it. i want to change it. i want to love and respect "me" enough to not turn against myself just cause i am having a bad day. When all is said and done i keep hoping that all of this comes back to that list i gave Miss G about the changes i want to make in my life, and the one about loving myself (or at least liking myself) seems to be one that i need to work an awful lot on. i know that i am not doing this alone, and that makes it bearable, and it also gives me the courage to pick myself up, remember that tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it, and i have a chance to start again and give it my best effort.

One day at a time...just remember, one day at a time....