fully submitting

OK, so tonight im in for it. dont ask why the list is waaaaayyyy too long. im in a good mood, and feeling kinda bulletproof, so i am worried that i wont be able to submit the way i want to- the way i need to. im posting this so that G will read it before the time comes and that she will know the struggle going on inside. i prolly need very much to cry- to have my reset button pressed- but the mood i am in, i know that i will fight those tears.

i want to give up all my freedoms of choice, to be held accountable, to have a clean slate and know it- so why in the heck am i so dang stubborn? annoying, isnt it??? the good thing is that i know i can talk freely like this, and that G will read this and will understand what i need better than i am able to express it. thats really comforting for me.

i ma at a point where i have made all sorts of choices about what i want to do and how i want to progress, and now i want to turn all that control over to G- to just rest in the knowledge that she will be in charge and that my life will be ok. That the things that dont work out are not her fault, nor is it a way to shift blame...just a way to be sure that the choices i make get followed up on.

Catch ya all later- assuming she doesnt kill me tonight....

HUGS