catching up
OK, so it's been awhile- so beat me. No wait...G has done that already- lol
We went to New York on Thursday, and i got to show her "my turf." She has never been there before, and we had cheescake at Lindy's, a "dirty-water hotdog," street vender pretzle, and attended a broadway show. She loved all of it. i got to show her where i grew up, where i consider myself "from" when someone asks me that question, and what traffic really is. it was one of the nicest weekends i can ever remember.
i continuously thanked Her for letting me share these things. She kept looking at me like i was nuts, because She kept telling me that She wasn't doing me any favors, that it was i who was doing them for Her, and that She was thrilled to be able to share in this with me. it's funny how because of my time with Craig my perception of what is "normal" is so messed up. i used to think that when he did anything with me, it was the greatest thing ever- that i had earned enough of his time for him to indulge me. What i am learning is that in a real relationship, there must be sharing. and sharing what is special to each other has to be a part of that. otherwise what kind of relationship is it? all one-sided i think. it still amazes me that she is interested enough in "me" to want to share the important stuff willingly and enjoyingly rather than begrudgingly. i must work on learning to understand that this is normal, and is healthy, and that while it is ok that i am so joyed by it, i am not indebted because of it.
Something else interesting happened while we were driving around NY. i passed by the apartment building of the guy who molested me for 2 years when i was younger, and for the first time, i didnt cringe or cry. in fact, i was half looking for him so i could punch his lights out, and half realizing that those emotions that generally paralized me or let my demon have at my self-confidence were not rearing their ugly heads. that is sooooo good. i am very happy for me. i am proud of me- of the progress i am seeing in myself. it makes me feel good. i am winning this fight a little at a time, and each small victory is adding up. it's nice to see that really working- maybe i can hold on to that when i am having rough times. if nothing else, i can come back and read this, and remember how i am feeling.
let's see- what else....
a friend of mine told me she wanted to read about the good stuff. this weekend was a wonderful weekend. The drive was long, but we got a DVD player for the car, so lauren was generally occupied- PHEW! G got to see my hometown, my mother's apartment, and got to meet my friends Donna and Laurie. Seems to me that they all hit it off, so that's a plus. Lauren fell in love with Donna and cried when we left the restaurant saying "dont leave me." it was soooo sweet. it was speciall for me to be able to share all this with G and lauren, and that gives me warm fuzzies inside.
i guess i dont have much else to talk about. i think that is catch up for the moment- sooooo, i'm gonna post this and wait to see what y'all have to say.... i'm not proud, i'll beg for comments....LOL
We went to New York on Thursday, and i got to show her "my turf." She has never been there before, and we had cheescake at Lindy's, a "dirty-water hotdog," street vender pretzle, and attended a broadway show. She loved all of it. i got to show her where i grew up, where i consider myself "from" when someone asks me that question, and what traffic really is. it was one of the nicest weekends i can ever remember.
i continuously thanked Her for letting me share these things. She kept looking at me like i was nuts, because She kept telling me that She wasn't doing me any favors, that it was i who was doing them for Her, and that She was thrilled to be able to share in this with me. it's funny how because of my time with Craig my perception of what is "normal" is so messed up. i used to think that when he did anything with me, it was the greatest thing ever- that i had earned enough of his time for him to indulge me. What i am learning is that in a real relationship, there must be sharing. and sharing what is special to each other has to be a part of that. otherwise what kind of relationship is it? all one-sided i think. it still amazes me that she is interested enough in "me" to want to share the important stuff willingly and enjoyingly rather than begrudgingly. i must work on learning to understand that this is normal, and is healthy, and that while it is ok that i am so joyed by it, i am not indebted because of it.
Something else interesting happened while we were driving around NY. i passed by the apartment building of the guy who molested me for 2 years when i was younger, and for the first time, i didnt cringe or cry. in fact, i was half looking for him so i could punch his lights out, and half realizing that those emotions that generally paralized me or let my demon have at my self-confidence were not rearing their ugly heads. that is sooooo good. i am very happy for me. i am proud of me- of the progress i am seeing in myself. it makes me feel good. i am winning this fight a little at a time, and each small victory is adding up. it's nice to see that really working- maybe i can hold on to that when i am having rough times. if nothing else, i can come back and read this, and remember how i am feeling.
let's see- what else....
a friend of mine told me she wanted to read about the good stuff. this weekend was a wonderful weekend. The drive was long, but we got a DVD player for the car, so lauren was generally occupied- PHEW! G got to see my hometown, my mother's apartment, and got to meet my friends Donna and Laurie. Seems to me that they all hit it off, so that's a plus. Lauren fell in love with Donna and cried when we left the restaurant saying "dont leave me." it was soooo sweet. it was speciall for me to be able to share all this with G and lauren, and that gives me warm fuzzies inside.
i guess i dont have much else to talk about. i think that is catch up for the moment- sooooo, i'm gonna post this and wait to see what y'all have to say.... i'm not proud, i'll beg for comments....LOL
posted by oreo at
23:09
3 Comments:
I'm so pleased you got to go home (we all have to do that, don't we?) and had the added pleasure of sharing that experience with your Mistress.
Sharing where you come from adds another dimension of you, and it is like opening up the best part of your past to another.
Bravo on making enough progress so that emotions didn't paralyze you when you passed that apartment! Yeah, mile markers are hardwon. :)
I'm so pleased for you guys, NYC around the holidays, what a busy and lovely time!
Holiday Cheers,
poiesia
P.S. I am now craving one of those damn dirty water hotdogs that you can only get from the street vendors....other hotdogs just aren't worth it.
By
me, at 12:43 PM
lol- i love those hotdogs...i dont know why, i just do.
its funny- people always like to go look at holiday lights, and i guess i am just a snob, cause after growing up in NY, lights are sorta boring to me. not so much in a bah-humbug way, more like a "do they get bigger and brighter than NYC" kind of way.
oh well, i can be a snob...lol
By
oreo, at 1:07 PM
I'm glad G had a great time in NY! It is an awsome place. You'all(LOL) will have to come back in the spring when it is warmer and we can all go in!
Lauren is such a sweetie! I was ready to bring her home!! I felt so bad when she started crying! But I told her we would talk on the phone so we'll have to do that soon!
You should have thrown an egg or a tomatoe at that bastards window!!
Glad you had fun and I'm really glad I got to meet the people that are the biggest part of your life now!
Hugs to everyone....Donna
By
Anonymous, at 5:22 PM
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