Sick and tired of being sick and tired

OK, so i have been sick and short-tempered and feeling yukky for the most part of 3 months. Add to that the sick and yukky feeling and the undiagnosed breating issues i have had since 2003, well, i am just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

my temper is shot, i have no patience for anything. im sleeping more than any human should, and i still feel like crap. im taking pills on top of pills and i still feel like shit. im frustrated, pissed, exhausted, and i dont know how to feel better any more.

i dont feel like i can be a good subbie, and i know that i am just not a nice person right now. i dont even want to be around me anymore. i just want to go somewhere and cry. lauren is in rare form cause since she has been sick, and my tolerance for her when she is mean or stand-offish is non-existant. i dont know how to step back. i dont know how to re-balance. i dont know how to reset myself anymore.

i woke up this morning with a sore throat and nasty mucus running down the back of my throat. since i have been on antibiotics for almost 3 weeks, this is really pissing me off- i mean, shouldnt i be exempt from adding new crap to what i already have???

OK, my bitch session is coming to an end. all i know is that something has got to give- and i dont know what it is, but it better give soon cause i am close to erupting, and i dont know how to stop it.

sorry for being so negative today....i'll try and find positive tomorrow